Why Eating At My Desk Got Banned (And Why I’m Weirdly Okay With It)

Photo courtesy of Gratisography

I gasped. I groaned. I threatened to stage a full-on Work-From-Home Revolution.

My lead link—Zappos-speak for “manager without the title”—shrugged it off like a zen monk sipping green tea.

Because apparently, “No Eating at Your Desk” became official law of the land on November 6, 2017. It passed in our Holacracy governance meeting fair and square, and I had zero ammo to argue that it would doom us all.

And so, just like that, my desk-dining days were toast. (Pun intended.)

The Slack Heard 'Round the Office

So, how did this culinary coup d'état happen in the first place?

Picture it: Slack channel shenanigans. Our go-to for everything from random memes to actual work discussions (sometimes both at once). Even though we sit 10 feet from each other, Slack is our brainwave lifeline—perfect for staying in the zone without real-life interruptions.

One fateful day, my lead link dropped a bomb in our chat: an article about why you shouldn’t eat at your desk. Gasp! Five minutes later? Another one. This time, about a Canadian company that went full “no food zone.”

Then came the message:

“Let’s vote on this at our next meeting. If it passes, I’m going to keep everyone accountable—and I expect the same from you.”

Cue dramatic music.

My Life as an Al-Desko Eater 🍴💻

Confession time: I was the Beyoncé of desk diners.

Every morning, I’d strut over to our campus bistro, grab my toast and bacon, and march back to my desk like it was a five-star table for one. Then I’d proceed to multitask like a champion—emails, BuzzFeed quizzes, and lukewarm bacon all at once.

Before I knew it, my desk was a sad buffet of bread flakes, keyboard crumbs, and bacon grease. And let's not even talk about what was hiding between the keys (spoiler: it was gross).

Apparently, office desks are 400 times dirtier than toilet seats. I was basically working in a crime scene.

And then there was the not-so-cute side effect: my pants felt... snug. My third belt hole mysteriously disappeared. My energy tanked. And my focus? MIA.

Turns out eating without thinking + sitting all day = sluggish, snack-crumb-covered zombie mode. Not hot.

Out with Al-Desko, In with Alfresco ☀️

Sure, stepping away from your desk sounds like a luxury reserved for CEOs or people in movies. But hear me out:

According to the experts (and common sense), getting up and moving around during the day is actually magic for your brain.

Kimberly Elsbach, a workplace psychology guru at UC Davis, says it best:

“Creativity and innovation happen when people change their environment.”

In other words? Your desk is not your muse. Nature is. Or at least, the breakroom. Maybe the patio. The stairwell works in a pinch.

And bonus points if you lunch with coworkers.

I’ve discovered the videographer is growing a hydroponic garden in his closet, the illustrator’s dog is about to become a literary star, and my lead link grew up in the Midwest with more hilarious stories than a stand-up comic. None of these delightful nuggets came from behind a screen.

Our lunchtime chats turned into bonding sessions. We became the lunch squad. The midday dream team. #TupperwareTuesdays, anyone?

From Bacon Crumbs to Humble Pie 🥧

Now, I’ll be real. Zappos’ second core value—Embrace and Drive Change—used to make me twitch. I’m a creature of habit. I like my routine. I really liked my bacon at my desk.

But looking back? I’m glad I got over myself.

Now, if I even think about sneaking food back to my desk, coworkers pop out like lunchroom ninjas:

“You’re not eating at your desk, right?”

Even funnier? Some of them joined the movement. They're dragging their burrito bowls to the breakroom like it’s the Met Gala.

The results?

✨ Keyboard: clean as a whistle.

✨ Mind: clear and focused.

✨ Waistline: 10 pounds lighter.

✨ Mood: infinitely better.

Turns out humble pie isn’t so bad… especially when you’re not eating it at your desk.